So I s'pose it will appear as if this is my first time writing here. It isn't. I just had the rest of it blocked so that one of my best friends could see it. I'm only now making it public and changing things because A.) they're not my best friend any more and B.) Toffee Tigers have decided we're making an alumni thingamabober here and I s'pose I should write something the general public can see.
So let's see. Me, me, me. I'm a high school senior, as of two nights ago. I'm in band, newspaper, and Beta Club. I ran for Tennessee State Vice-Presidency this past year, but I didn't win. : ( But I'm prez of my school's Beta regardless, which pretty much rocks. [\o/] Cause I got some big plans for Beta and I can't wait to show them I AM a leader. In band I'm flute section leader, this year will be my second year under that position. In my school's newspaper, I'm the news editor this coming year, what that means I really don't know.
I'm OBSESSED with Buffy. [obviously... look at this page!!!] I quote quite often. My fave movies are mostly musicals or movies with strong female roles. [I'm a feminist] I LOVE Tudor England... that family fascinates me... and Queen Elizabeth I is my role model. Bands consist of MY Chemical Romance, The Killers, Maroon 5, and The Academy Is.... [in that order]. I love Kelly Clarkson... and Hilary Duff is pretty cool too. I LOVE British singers like Mika and Lily Allen as of late.
So I guess that gets rid of the boring stuff. So. My life. Is CRAZY as of late. Since I let the "love of my life" leave me eight months ago, I have just only gotten over him last Wednesday when I realized the boy I'm in love with is gone. A stranger has taken over him. I've lost two of my best frends this following year, and realized who's real and who isn't. I'm technically single, yet technically taken. By an ex of mine who is simply amazing. He's a genius, musically, educationally, maybe period. He's got the same sense as I through romance... let's just say we're a lot alike. When we dated it didn't work out cause I was still in love with afore-mentioned boy and thought I could get him back. Basically I wasn't ready for a relationship yet. I think Jacob still thinks I'm not, which is why he's with me without officially being with me. Yet I'm starting to helplessly fall for him... he's such a great guy, Jacob. A junior, but that's okay. Because he's so amazing... and much maturer than any of the boys at my school, 'specially from the class of 2008. [since all the good ones are taken] And since he doesn't want to date me, I can't tell him I'm falling for him. Not yet. You see, he's heading off to Australia for three weeks in about two weeks, and I've got this letter I'm writing him so he can take a piece of me with him. And basically it tells him I'm falling for him. So either I have three weeks before he crushes my heart to pieces or three weeks for him to realize he could love me too. So we'll see!!! And on top of my friendships and whatever, there's school. I've worked my BUTT off this year for school. I took two AP classes [and exams] and I'm hoping to at least pass AP US History so I will NEVER have to take that class for an entire year AGAIN. I've never worked so hard in school... so I'm glad I didn't have a guy because it would have gotten in the way of all the things I've done. I'm constantly busy doing something... and even with the fact that summer starts in three days, I'm gonna be busy all summer with a job and then band. So I've pretty much come to the realization I'm never gonna get a week where I can sit around and do nothing AGAIN.
Welcome to adulthood, I s'pose.
But this year, I've learned so much. So much has effected me. I now know why I can't make a relationship work, and I think it's something I can fix soon.